Monday, September 22, 2008
Obedience Training Course for Kitty
Reagan is going to start teaching a class. It's going to be called. "How to scare the -you know what- out of your kitty...then he'll go limp and let you do whatever you want with him!" Just in case you can't bring your child and his/her kitty to the class, we decided to post online step-by-step instructions.
1. Hold the kitty by the belly. Squeeze him so hard that he almost vomits. Almost is the key word here. This will make him feel nice and ill so that he will cooperate better.
2. Proceed to run around in circles while holding him upside down. Still squeezing his belly nice and firm. This will get him into a nice comatose state.
3. Sit down. While kitty is still dizzy hold him by the face and tell him "no no kitty, you obey me".....and while you've got him there you can pry his mouth open to take a peek at his teeth. You could even attempt to pull his tongue out. He's comatose, remember, he won't mind.
4. Walk around while holding him by the neck. Simply put your pointer finger in his eyes....one at a time while singing him "Jesus Loves Me."
Congratulations! You've completed a 4 step crash course in kitty obedience training.
Good luck and God bless you and your kitty.