Tuesday, February 9, 2016

One Broken to Heal Many : Finding Purpose in Your Pain

Shaun and I have walked through some of the most difficult and trying times of our life the last 3  or so years. False accusations and abandonment have happened in our life.

I have often dug and begged and searched for an answer when relationships are difficult and people are unloving. I often ask God to show himself faithful, because I read that He is.  I ask God to use suffering for the perfecting of my faith, because I'm told He will. I ask God to just erase the hurt and replace it with joy and wisdom, because I know He can.   I daily have to re-forgive and ask God to point out the plank in my own selfish eye, because that's what I need.  My own pride dealt with.  When we see our own wickedness, it's easier to extend grace to others.  After all, we are all wretched and in deep need of Jesus and each other.  

I believe the hurt we have gone through is giving us, daily, a much deeper capacity to be grace filled, tender hearted, long suffering, kind and merciful.  We are learning over and over, we HAVE to choose kindness, because we never know the battle someone is fighting.  The suffering is giving us a clearer picture of what happened to Jesus, and then my heart breaks all over again when I realize my Savior walked a road very similar but worse.  To death.  He was wrongly accused, yelled at, spat on, called names, beat up, murdered....  He truly understands our (your) pain.  He's been there.

Could it be?  The suffering that has brought years of tears, is actually being used for good in  our lives?  There have been times I wouldn't have said so.  But now, I KNOW so.  It isn't over and our life is far from perfect, but God is doing something.  And I love that.  I really do.

God was preparing us for newer, smaller trials that have come into our lives.  For 3 years, he's been preparing my heart for the responses to new hurt and changes it would face.  God never left.  He was weaving some things together to prepare me.  It's proven true in recent months when the problems of life arise, and I believe it will continue to be true for us -  welcoming the wounding of our pride is always the better way.

We are not done.  Life is still hard some days.  God is surely taking us on a journey we never expected.  But there is joy...because there is Hope.

I'm determined to use the good, bad and ugly in my life.   I don't want it to be tucked away in my heart where it can foster fear and doubt.  I want it all to be used for Christ in the lives of others and for growth in my own heart.  Where we tuck things away and begin to wall up - love cannot live.

I love this post from Ann Voskamp.  So much vulnerability and heart.  I think I'm learning - everyone has had a bumpy road at one time or another.  What we need is more people to be vulnerable about the pain so we can learn from the tough times and walk with our friends through inevitable hard days.



~One broken to heal many. 


p.s. Stay tuned.  I'm gonna be blogging a bit more to keep family and friends updated on our life...a year ago we were settled into our little country home, enjoying our three kiddos, loving life in a familiar place....we had no idea God would do these things...

-a cross country move
-a complete career change for Shaun
-apartment living instead of acreage living
-church hunting
-new friend finding
-family member deployment
-broken bones

Isn't this going to be fun!?  My Facebook inbox is flooded often with requests for our adoption story, our move story and more....so this will be a fun way to communicate/answer...call it what you want.  I just love to write.

In the meantime, let's do life together.  Like this:

Cling to Jesus.  Find a friend who will be vulnerable.  You go be vulnerable.  Initiate.  Pray often.

1 comment:

Kelcie Huffstickler said...

So glad you are blogging again!! Yes, I've been dying for the full adoption and moving stories in your own words. :) I can't wait to read along... and you're right, we all have bumpy, difficult roads we've walked. We tend to hide them well online...