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Wednesday, June 29, 2016
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
One Broken to Heal Many : Finding Purpose in Your Pain
Shaun and I have walked through some of the most difficult and trying times of our life the last 3 or so years. False accusations and abandonment have happened in our life.
I have often dug and begged and searched for an answer when relationships are difficult and people are unloving. I often ask God to show himself faithful, because I read that He is. I ask God to use suffering for the perfecting of my faith, because I'm told He will. I ask God to just erase the hurt and replace it with joy and wisdom, because I know He can. I daily have to re-forgive and ask God to point out the plank in my own selfish eye, because that's what I need. My own pride dealt with. When we see our own wickedness, it's easier to extend grace to others. After all, we are all wretched and in deep need of Jesus and each other.
I have often dug and begged and searched for an answer when relationships are difficult and people are unloving. I often ask God to show himself faithful, because I read that He is. I ask God to use suffering for the perfecting of my faith, because I'm told He will. I ask God to just erase the hurt and replace it with joy and wisdom, because I know He can. I daily have to re-forgive and ask God to point out the plank in my own selfish eye, because that's what I need. My own pride dealt with. When we see our own wickedness, it's easier to extend grace to others. After all, we are all wretched and in deep need of Jesus and each other.
I believe the hurt we have gone through is giving us, daily, a much deeper capacity to be grace filled, tender hearted, long suffering, kind and merciful. We are learning over and over, we HAVE to choose kindness, because we never know the battle someone is fighting. The suffering is giving us a clearer picture of what happened to Jesus, and then my heart breaks all over again when I realize my Savior walked a road very similar but worse. To death. He was wrongly accused, yelled at, spat on, called names, beat up, murdered.... He truly understands our (your) pain. He's been there.
Could it be? The suffering that has brought years of tears, is actually being used for good in our lives? There have been times I wouldn't have said so. But now, I KNOW so. It isn't over and our life is far from perfect, but God is doing something. And I love that. I really do.
God was preparing us for newer, smaller trials that have come into our lives. For 3 years, he's been preparing my heart for the responses to new hurt and changes it would face. God never left. He was weaving some things together to prepare me. It's proven true in recent months when the problems of life arise, and I believe it will continue to be true for us - welcoming the wounding of our pride is always the better way.
We are not done. Life is still hard some days. God is surely taking us on a journey we never expected. But there is joy...because there is Hope.
I'm determined to use the good, bad and ugly in my life. I don't want it to be tucked away in my heart where it can foster fear and doubt. I want it all to be used for Christ in the lives of others and for growth in my own heart. Where we tuck things away and begin to wall up - love cannot live.
I love this post from Ann Voskamp. So much vulnerability and heart. I think I'm learning - everyone has had a bumpy road at one time or another. What we need is more people to be vulnerable about the pain so we can learn from the tough times and walk with our friends through inevitable hard days.
So READ THIS POST
Sincerely,
~One broken to heal many.
God was preparing us for newer, smaller trials that have come into our lives. For 3 years, he's been preparing my heart for the responses to new hurt and changes it would face. God never left. He was weaving some things together to prepare me. It's proven true in recent months when the problems of life arise, and I believe it will continue to be true for us - welcoming the wounding of our pride is always the better way.
We are not done. Life is still hard some days. God is surely taking us on a journey we never expected. But there is joy...because there is Hope.
I'm determined to use the good, bad and ugly in my life. I don't want it to be tucked away in my heart where it can foster fear and doubt. I want it all to be used for Christ in the lives of others and for growth in my own heart. Where we tuck things away and begin to wall up - love cannot live.
I love this post from Ann Voskamp. So much vulnerability and heart. I think I'm learning - everyone has had a bumpy road at one time or another. What we need is more people to be vulnerable about the pain so we can learn from the tough times and walk with our friends through inevitable hard days.
So READ THIS POST
Sincerely,
~One broken to heal many.
p.s. Stay tuned. I'm gonna be blogging a bit more to keep family and friends updated on our life...a year ago we were settled into our little country home, enjoying our three kiddos, loving life in a familiar place....we had no idea God would do these things...
-adoption
-a cross country move
-a complete career change for Shaun
-apartment living instead of acreage living
-church hunting
-new friend finding
-family member deployment
-miscarriage
-broken bones
Isn't this going to be fun!? My Facebook inbox is flooded often with requests for our adoption story, our move story and more....so this will be a fun way to communicate/answer...call it what you want. I just love to write.
In the meantime, let's do life together. Like this:
Cling to Jesus. Find a friend who will be vulnerable. You go be vulnerable. Initiate. Pray often.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Facebook Rants : More Damage than Good?
I keep seeing status updates on Facebook about the Christian way of living and how one shouldn't wear this or watch this or drink this or read this or go here or vote for this person....etc etc... You know what I'm talking about...
Can I ask that we stop telling the Facebook world the things we refuse to do? Or think? Or say? Or wear? Or read? Or watch? Or drink?
Can we stop giving lists of things we interpret as sin that aren't clearly painted pictures of sin in scripture?
Can we stop condemning people who don't do exactly as we do?
These well meaning posts should be used to aide in the sanctification of your church but not to openly condemn a lost and dying world that knows not to whom they should even call out for help. I'm just not sure the lost people reading these Facebook statuses will ever give ear to the gospel if they frequently read about our judgmental view of a thing they aren't so sure they will ever give up.
Now, you and I know God can work in a heart and drastically change it- but don't they need to hear the gospel first? Of course! It's the key to change in behavior. But it must be God saving the heart first. And even then, let the Holy Spirit do the changing...we can help and give advice, but we are not the ultimate authority ~ and these things we keep posting about aren't even absolutes in scripture...
What if they won't hear of this Jesus from us because of the junk we rant on about every other day of the week? It's called credibility. And so many believers have none because of the inconsistencies seen in them on social media. That's no good.
Go make a private Facebook page for your church and challenge and encourage one another there. And hash out your different views there? Maybe? Or even better, inside the walls of your church, where challenges and rebukes and encouragement in the faith are supposed to be happening. That's what the church is for. Equipping and challenging the saints.
It has bothered me.... because I fear it could be doing more damage than good. Both to the unbeliever and believer. I fear it is painting an inaccurate picture of Jesus and His message for the unbeliever. I fear it is telling brothers and sisters in the Lord that we judge those who don't share our exact same conviction or interpretation of scripture.
Maybe it's just me, but I feel the Christian lifestyle is loving the unlovable, believer or not, right where they are. It's about building relationships with wicked sinners who desperately need a Savior. Our Savior. The One who rescued us!
The lost world should see us loving all kinds of people in a way that shocks their socks off and leaves them lying awake at night wondering why that Christian was so kind when they feel so unworthy.
People don't need a list of behaviors to change. They don't need to see Christians bickering about that list either. They don't need to see us avoiding them at all costs because sin is around or, heaven forbid, in them. Oh, but wait... isn't sin in you and me every single day as well? We are not that different, you know.
- the way we deal with a lost world should be more about what we ARE doing than what we AREN't doing.
We can't expect people to look, talk, act and smell like believers when they don't have it in them at all. There is nothing good in anyone apart from Christ- it is HE who initiates the desire for what is right and good- so we need to love people in their worst of states. The ones we consider too far for the hand of Jesus. Shame on us, I say. Who are we? Is He not sovereign? Did He not save our depraved heart when it was so terribly far from Him? They are not beyond the work of Christ on their heart. But they would have to weed through all of our junk to even get to the beauty of the gospel of Jesus and perfect Love. We are the obstacle a lot of times when we could've had the opportunity to be the segue. It's embarrassing to me.
So that should mean we are seen spending time with all kinds of people. It should look like having a meal, or, help us, a drink with them...It should mean life is lived right in front of them.
It looks like life that screams of hope in suffering and joy in trials and faithfulness when everyone else is turning their back. A friend that stays. And endures. And forgives. And overlooks the externals with the soul in focus. And, dear Christian, our lost friends need to see in us a heart that admits sin and fear and a need for Christ to come and be sufficient - because we are not - and we do not always know the way. A friend that is raw. And real. And present. A burden bearer.
That's the only way Christianity looks any different. When we get real, admit how rotten we were/are, and live out the hope we have because of Jesus.
I know that lost person couldn't care less about a list of Christian shirt lengths that are appropriate to be worn over these leggings, or reasons you can or can't have a beer, or why Christian kids don't play video games, or stores Christians should never shop at, or ways a halftime show was from the devil himself and why a Christian shouldn't ever watch it, or how if you voted for a certain political party you must not love Jesus, or how Christians shouldn't be seen walking down Beale street.... And the list goes on and on and on.... In my news feed..... Every. Single. Day.
You may think you did well to encourage your brother or sister in the Lord. But a lot of times, all you did was heap guilt on your Christian friend who did the something you're ranting about just last week. And do you know what that does? Either a debate ensues for the world to watch unfold on Facebook, or walls go up and churches die, because no one will just get real about doubts and struggles for fear of being judged or ostracized. For crying out loud, let's just get real. But not on Facebook.
All the while, these posts are making a lost man realize, yet again, he is not good enough to even stick his big toe into your legalistic, judgmental world. Nor does he want to.
Please, for the sake of the glory of Christ, love Christians. Stop judging them. Let's post things we WILL do and be for people who just need a friend in the faith. So many church members are lonely. Let's post encouragement. And keep vulnerable, intimate moments just that.
Please, for the sake of eternity - and the idea that a lost man will certainly burn in Hell one day - stop posting a lifestyle ideal their heart is so far from grasping. They'll just keep rolling their eyes at you. Instead, post about ways you desire to help and love people who are hurting. Post hope. Post love. Be there for them. Seek them out individually. Privately. With kind words. Or better yet, call them on the phone or sit down to lunch with them.
The eye rolls stop when you really meet someone right where they are and actually listen and give and sacrifice and love. To a fault.
Love, like Jesus did it. Not like the Bible Belt 'moral code' told you to do it.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
What does 9 years of marriage feel like?
Another year has passed. We have been married for 9 years!!!!! By God's grace. 9 years. It hasn't been easy for us. I've done a lot of growing up. I still have a long way to go. But from day one, Shaun has been the most selfless, sacrificial man I have ever known. No joke. (If you know his dad, you know where he learned to give up his life for his bride. Day in and day out. At great expense to self). Thank you Papa. Your legacy will live on in your son. He gives you a hard time for giving away cars and time and money and stuff and more time and forgiveness over and over and over....but he is the SAME man you are in so many ways. And that makes me so thrilled. What a blessing to be the wife of a man who always puts others above self.....:). I sortof benefit too much from that at times.
I've said these words before. And I'll say them again. It sounds so cliche', but is true. He is my best friend. My life everyday revolves around him. Wishing he was home as soon as his tires leave the gravel driveway. Cleaning, teaching, praying, preparing dinner, all because we are anxiously awaiting his arrival home. We literally stand in the yard a lot of days around 5 watching for his car down the country road. My heart is more warmed toward him today than it was in 2004. I don't understand it, nor do I for a moment believe I deserve it, but the blessing I have in him cannot be explained in words. My heart just sings with delight at the thought of him.
God, in a way, gave me salvation in Shaun before we were married. It is because of my relationship with Shaun and his family I realized my deep need for the Savior. The great functionality (in a world of mostly dysfunctional families) of Shaun's family is because of their deliberate effort to keep Christ the center of their vision for family and missions. I pray Shaun and I can replicate that in our home. I pray souls can be saved by the testimony of our family life. In our home. So anyway, that's a lot of words to say, the greatest gift I've ever received from God truly is Shaun, because my salvation resulted from it....and I know God planned it that way.
It's good, I think, to make a habit of rehearsing reasons you love your spouse. Here are some reasons I love Shaun:
I love him because he loves God. He weekly surrenders great amounts of time to prepare for lessons, pray for, and love on people at our church. His heart is called to teach - and even if he wasn't my husband, I'd be in his class. By choice. He is SUCH a wonderful student and teacher of the Word. I see God's word thrill and encourage him and it encourages me as his sister in Christ. What a sweet thing that we will share eternity together before our Lord. And much of the urge I feel from The Lord to learn more about His word is a direct result of the things I hear and learn in Shaun's classes.
I love him because he loves me and the kids. I know because he writes it, he says it, and he shows it all the time. He comes home from long troubling days at work, where the lives of people depend on his preparation and performance, and he somehow puts that away, puts on a smile and he is ready to serve and love on the kids and I. He helps with supper, dishes, laundry....he tickles, plays, bathes, reads to and puts to bed...and he begs me to go take a bubble bath while he does it all. Seriously. It happens. Read it again. It happens. A lot.
(Side note: Men, do you complain that your wife is too often exhausted at bedtime and therefore unavailable for intimacy, yet you've flicked the remote for hours while she cooked, cleaned, bathed kids, etc.....? GET UP! SERVE HER. She will feel energized, more attractive, more attracted to you and be awake and eager and ready to "thank" you for your servant spirit around the home. Be patient, it takes more than a day. Serve her continually and I promise, those walls will come down and you will reap the benefit of your selfless service. Please don't broadcast to her why you're serving. Check your heart and do it out of true self sacrifice because she is more important than you are. Try it. Nothing to lose, right??)
Ok. Back to why I love my man...
I love him because he works so hard. So hard. And he is a rare attorney who actually cares about his clients and feels burdened for them. I know because there are days he comes through the door with a big need for a hug after the desperate and destitute circumstances he's dealt with all day. God is blessing his honest hard work with provision and we are thankful and prayerful that his practice can make a difference in the community. And even in times when we wonder if God remembers we have bills to pay and mouths to feed, Shaun diligently trusts God for provision. I know because I hear it when he prays and I see it in the continued joy and peace he has amidst a trying time. All the while, I'm wringing my hands and fretting. What an awesome example he is to me.
I love him because he is handsome. Nothing makes me smile more than those beautiful baby blues. He would still catch my eye today like he did in 2003. I love to look at him. I lovvvvvvve to look at him.
I love him because he is hilarious. If you've ever been around him for long, you know he's funny. Like laugh-til-you-cry funny. The life of the party and most likely the creator of the party. I love that he knows how to make me laugh. I need that more than he realizes. I smile so much more than I did before I knew him. That's why I have all these "laugh lines."
That's all I need, right?! A handsome, hilarious, loving, hard working man who loves God. My teenage checklist has been completed. For 9 years. And I'm sure his checklist was "Hott girl"...and obviously he has that in me. So we're good. :))) It's a dream come true.
Our marriage isn't perfect. In fact, we've often told other couples that apart from Christ and our covenant before him, we might have shook hands a year or two in and walked away.....but we didn't, because we knew something greater than ourselves was at stake. The Gospel of Christ. I need this marriage and Shaun- because it is a key part of the sanctifying role of Christ in my life. It is making us more holy. It's removing ME from the center and putting Christ at the center so that I can love, respect and submit to my husband as we try to serve and glorify Christ in our marriage. The eyes of lost men, and maybe saved ones trying to make it in their own marriage, are watching and learning about whether or not we are a true testament to Christ and what we call his transforming power in us....they watch to see if we are different. Please, Lord, let us look different.
I searched pictures to find one from our honeymoon....but they are all borderline inappropriate. Haha. And the in between pictures all have either a preggo belly in them, or a hospital gown, or a baby or two or three. Maybe we should take some pictures for our anniversary this year??
Our honeymoon. Sweet sweet days. Not a care in the world.
My prayer is that God will use us somehow to share His saving power with lost men headed for eternal Hell. My prayer is that God will use us to help sympathize with troubled marriages. My prayer is that God receive glory in all we do. Because He is worth the greatest sacrifices we could ever make. He gave his LIFE. And I live and experience this blessing of marriage and Shaun and intimacy and laughter and children....all because He gave his life. Otherwise, we don't even exist. So I'm thankful and hopeful God can use us.
I love you Shaun Hair. Happy anniversary! You are my hero. Now and always.
..- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad2
I've said these words before. And I'll say them again. It sounds so cliche', but is true. He is my best friend. My life everyday revolves around him. Wishing he was home as soon as his tires leave the gravel driveway. Cleaning, teaching, praying, preparing dinner, all because we are anxiously awaiting his arrival home. We literally stand in the yard a lot of days around 5 watching for his car down the country road. My heart is more warmed toward him today than it was in 2004. I don't understand it, nor do I for a moment believe I deserve it, but the blessing I have in him cannot be explained in words. My heart just sings with delight at the thought of him.
God, in a way, gave me salvation in Shaun before we were married. It is because of my relationship with Shaun and his family I realized my deep need for the Savior. The great functionality (in a world of mostly dysfunctional families) of Shaun's family is because of their deliberate effort to keep Christ the center of their vision for family and missions. I pray Shaun and I can replicate that in our home. I pray souls can be saved by the testimony of our family life. In our home. So anyway, that's a lot of words to say, the greatest gift I've ever received from God truly is Shaun, because my salvation resulted from it....and I know God planned it that way.
It's good, I think, to make a habit of rehearsing reasons you love your spouse. Here are some reasons I love Shaun:
I love him because he loves God. He weekly surrenders great amounts of time to prepare for lessons, pray for, and love on people at our church. His heart is called to teach - and even if he wasn't my husband, I'd be in his class. By choice. He is SUCH a wonderful student and teacher of the Word. I see God's word thrill and encourage him and it encourages me as his sister in Christ. What a sweet thing that we will share eternity together before our Lord. And much of the urge I feel from The Lord to learn more about His word is a direct result of the things I hear and learn in Shaun's classes.
I love him because he loves me and the kids. I know because he writes it, he says it, and he shows it all the time. He comes home from long troubling days at work, where the lives of people depend on his preparation and performance, and he somehow puts that away, puts on a smile and he is ready to serve and love on the kids and I. He helps with supper, dishes, laundry....he tickles, plays, bathes, reads to and puts to bed...and he begs me to go take a bubble bath while he does it all. Seriously. It happens. Read it again. It happens. A lot.
(Side note: Men, do you complain that your wife is too often exhausted at bedtime and therefore unavailable for intimacy, yet you've flicked the remote for hours while she cooked, cleaned, bathed kids, etc.....? GET UP! SERVE HER. She will feel energized, more attractive, more attracted to you and be awake and eager and ready to "thank" you for your servant spirit around the home. Be patient, it takes more than a day. Serve her continually and I promise, those walls will come down and you will reap the benefit of your selfless service. Please don't broadcast to her why you're serving. Check your heart and do it out of true self sacrifice because she is more important than you are. Try it. Nothing to lose, right??)
Ok. Back to why I love my man...
I love him because he works so hard. So hard. And he is a rare attorney who actually cares about his clients and feels burdened for them. I know because there are days he comes through the door with a big need for a hug after the desperate and destitute circumstances he's dealt with all day. God is blessing his honest hard work with provision and we are thankful and prayerful that his practice can make a difference in the community. And even in times when we wonder if God remembers we have bills to pay and mouths to feed, Shaun diligently trusts God for provision. I know because I hear it when he prays and I see it in the continued joy and peace he has amidst a trying time. All the while, I'm wringing my hands and fretting. What an awesome example he is to me.
I love him because he is handsome. Nothing makes me smile more than those beautiful baby blues. He would still catch my eye today like he did in 2003. I love to look at him. I lovvvvvvve to look at him.
I love him because he is hilarious. If you've ever been around him for long, you know he's funny. Like laugh-til-you-cry funny. The life of the party and most likely the creator of the party. I love that he knows how to make me laugh. I need that more than he realizes. I smile so much more than I did before I knew him. That's why I have all these "laugh lines."
That's all I need, right?! A handsome, hilarious, loving, hard working man who loves God. My teenage checklist has been completed. For 9 years. And I'm sure his checklist was "Hott girl"...and obviously he has that in me. So we're good. :))) It's a dream come true.
Our marriage isn't perfect. In fact, we've often told other couples that apart from Christ and our covenant before him, we might have shook hands a year or two in and walked away.....but we didn't, because we knew something greater than ourselves was at stake. The Gospel of Christ. I need this marriage and Shaun- because it is a key part of the sanctifying role of Christ in my life. It is making us more holy. It's removing ME from the center and putting Christ at the center so that I can love, respect and submit to my husband as we try to serve and glorify Christ in our marriage. The eyes of lost men, and maybe saved ones trying to make it in their own marriage, are watching and learning about whether or not we are a true testament to Christ and what we call his transforming power in us....they watch to see if we are different. Please, Lord, let us look different.
I searched pictures to find one from our honeymoon....but they are all borderline inappropriate. Haha. And the in between pictures all have either a preggo belly in them, or a hospital gown, or a baby or two or three. Maybe we should take some pictures for our anniversary this year??
Our honeymoon. Sweet sweet days. Not a care in the world.
My prayer is that God will use us somehow to share His saving power with lost men headed for eternal Hell. My prayer is that God will use us to help sympathize with troubled marriages. My prayer is that God receive glory in all we do. Because He is worth the greatest sacrifices we could ever make. He gave his LIFE. And I live and experience this blessing of marriage and Shaun and intimacy and laughter and children....all because He gave his life. Otherwise, we don't even exist. So I'm thankful and hopeful God can use us.
I love you Shaun Hair. Happy anniversary! You are my hero. Now and always.
..- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad2
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Homeschooling Questions Addressed
I have recently had a several people ask me WHY we choose to homeschool. Another lady asked if we will homeschool her children. Someone wanted to know what we do about certain situations, how it practically works, how we do it financially, how I find time for me....etc....
I have ONE homeschooler! Haha. I feel flattered and humbled that anyone would ask me for advice or help- but for whatever reason, God sent them my way-
I've responded to them all and recently a girl said to me "You need to post that on your blog or somewhere public, people need to hear that - especially around here with the schools the way they are." So here I am- pasting my message to her into my blog. (I've mulled over whether or not to blog it for some time now).
Here is the message:
Hey girl! ok- here goes....this is going to be long-
I personally think it's really sweet that you are considering keeping your kids home with you. I would not trade all those sweet moments with my children, all those firsts, all those tears and laughs to another person. Personally, I just couldn't do it.
I do understand some people have to work and they have no choice and I don't think it is a right or wrong choice. I don't think you're sinning for having kids in school. I am just very thankful that is not where God has us for now. We have made sacrifices so I can be home, and sometimes extra income would be very nice.....but at the same time God has graciously provided a way financially for us to do it. So, of course, my opinion is, if there is a way financially - I think it's what is best for the child in most cases. And for the most part, I think families can sacrifice to the point that one parent can be home or work part time.
We homeschool for several reasons. I think first and foremost, we choose to homeschool because we believe the spiritual condition of our kids is THE most important thing. We see and know how vulnerable our kids are, how receptive they are at these young ages and right now is the most important time to teach them about who God is. It's so important that they hear the gospel told to them over and over and over through very real, in their face, practical living and discipline at home. If they are in school or day care, we cannot control that for the majority of the day - so essentially, we cannot disciple our kids or discipline them effectively if we aren't with them.
Many people say "Well, my child is a light in a lost and dying school/classroom/world.....they are a missionary." I say no- I cannot expect my unstable, unsaved child to be a light in their school. That isn't their job. Not yet anyway. I will pray for salvation, teach, discipline, and watch for fruit that tells me they are prepared to go into a lost and dying world. After all, don't grown, adult missionaries go through months and sometimes years of training before they are let loose in their mission fields?? And they are grown, saved, fruit making, aware of their calling.....ADULTS who have been tried and tested and stood strong!!!
Second, I believe educationally, no one can know my own children and their learning quirks better than me. I know them intimately - I am their momma. In homeschooling, we can tailor school to our kids. Reagan is soaring to third grade levels in reading and struggling in basic subtraction in first grade math. So we spend much more time on that than anything else - and we are one on one, and later when the littles are in school we will be one on 3 or 4 or 5 (not sure how many kids we will have)....but my point is, that is better than one teacher on 25 students that all have different learning needs. So if my kids are brilliant or "special", they'll have more of a tailored exactly-what-they-need education with me and Shaun. To me, that's better than an A in reading and an F in math because there just wasn't enough one on one time with a teacher. (I also love that during snack, we practice math. During nap time for the littles we count, add and subtract while we do dishes and laundry. All day long- whether sitting down with a book or a test or learning to keep a home - we are one on one.....LEARNING.)
I think that second decision (educationally) would be harder for me if there was a cheap, christian, Bible teaching, really well taught, local school that was an option for me. A place where the spiritual condition of my children was just as important to the staff as it is to Shaun and I. I would have enrolled Reagan 20 times by now. Haha. (believe me, there are days I want to drive her to a school, take out a loan, and leave. I would love time to go to a gym or grocery shop alone or get a manicure). But that (above) option just isn't there around here and that makes it a little more of a no brainer for me. So we homeschool and I look out of shape, dated and homely. :)). It's a small sacrifice to make. My vanity or desire to be alone is silly and not founded in scripture anyway. And there will be plenty of years of alone when they all leave the nest.
****Let me say though, that I was raised in the public school system, I loved school! I'm educated, I made it through high school and college without too much of an issue and I wasn't bullied terribly or abused. I don't ever find myself regretting that I grew up in that system. I was exposed to things, though, that I would rather my children not be exposed to. There were physically and sexually abused kids when I was in school and a teacher was fired because of it. The Lord just protected me. And I am thankful. And I believe parents with kids in school must daily lean on The Lord in a special way for the protection and preservation of the innocence of their sweet children. Not that homeschooling parents don't rely on The Lord, believe me- we do. I just find great comfort in knowing that Shaun and I can and will, to an extent, control when our kids are thrown to the world and expected to decipher good and evil.
I sound old saying this, but times are even more different now than they were then, and I think the schools have changed a lot. Also, there were great amounts of temptation for me when I was in school. And I wasn't perfect. I have regrets from those years. And I know kids aren't nearly as well-taught at home or morally aware and obedient as they were even then. And that would terrify me if I had a student in the schools today.
Third, the sheer amount of time invested in school makes homeschooling appealing to me. My friend Sara had two boys in school at Marion last year, they came home from the after school program when Sara got off work around 5. They'd have at least 2 hours of homework to do every night before bed- so 8 hours at school and then so much homework, it's insane! Not to mention ball practices and church....they were run to death and had no family time! Now, she's homeschooling and done by noon every day. Some days she says they go until 2 but never later than that unless its by choice. They are junior high and elementary aged.
I'm all about redeeming the time in these few short years we have with our kids. I don't want to spend it shuffling kids around to school and back and doing homework. I don't want to be at the mercy of the school year schedules and breaks. I love that we are mobile and free. Homeschooling is not bondage. It is freedom!!!
The social aspect you mentioned is never a concern for me. Never! I'm not sure I want Reagan's peers to be her primary source of socialization anyway. I love that she wants to be like ME and her daddy and not a little girl from school. We have her heart (right now anyway) and I love that. We attend a homeschool co-op with science fairs, show and tell, recitation, choir, art, etc..... and a gymnastics class where she is around kids whose parents share the same values as Shaun and I. She also is in the Wednesday Night Live program at church where she interacts greatly (not awkwardly) with loads of all kinds of kids. Right now, everything is filtered through us first....and for now, I prefer that....while she's so impressionable- that's important.
I know we can't control her every moment forever. But I think God will give us wisdom to know when the time has come to, little by little, let her be responsible for making some of her decisions. We aren't going to lock her up-though we'd love to- 😊. Hopefully she will be saved and produce fruit that can impact others one day- now is not that time. So we protect her. For now. And we pray.
Anyway, I'm including these links to Joanna's blog (Shaun's sister) - she has 5 kiddos. One of them started school at Christian Brothers High School this year. The other 4 they have at home for now- so she's got some good things to say about timing and perspectives from every angle.
I don't think you're silly for thinking about this- I think it's smart and wise to plan and talk with your husband about a plan. Of course, it could always change. So many people told me, take it one year at a time- and now I understand that. Your family will change, needs change, circumstances change. So, one year at a time. 😊.
This is how I feel God wants us to do school for now. That could change. God could show us something new and different. We aren't closed minded and hard hearted about it. We just want to be sensitive to where God has us and we want to be obedient stewards of what God has blessed us with!
Here are the links.
Hilltop House: What I've Learned in Ten Years of
Homeschooling - Part 1
Hilltop House: What I've Learned in Ten Years of Homeschooling - Part 2
Praying for you.
Candice
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad2
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Glory in the Mundane - the honest truth about my struggles with contentment
I'm posting this link to a video a sweet friend sent me.
She knows of my struggles to find joy and fulfillment in the mundane.
I'm so guilty of feeling guilty about our ministry as a family. I often think we should and wish we could do more....more for family, more for the church, more for the lost. I'm guilt ridden that I don't have more hours in a day to be everything to everyone!
I am a passionate girl...about life and Jesus...and my kids...and my house....and loving people....And our church....and I'm SO excited about His work in my heart. I feel a fire and excitement about being missional, but I often feel my hands are "tied" at home with kids and potty training and school..... and to be vulnerable and raw with you, sometimes washing dishes doesn't seem like its anywhere near "reaching the lost and broken world".
If you peeked in my kitchen window while I'm washing dishes, a lot of days you'll find me deep in thought. What am I daydreaming out the window about? Everything ELSE I could be doing in this lost and dying world for Christ and how meaningless these dishes are. Okay, sometimes I'm thinking about paper plates and a nap....but you get the idea- what you'd see is a frown.
When people tell me "Your kids are your mission field and you are discipling them."...I want to say, "But people all over the world have done mission work all over the place and taken their kids with them- would we say they fail? No !!! So maybe I should go- and take them- and change things up."
The problem is, I probably would still feel I could be doing more. Even if I were living in a shanty in the remotest part of Africa. I would still have the fruit of God's work in me- a desire to reach the lost, but a very real struggle with discontentment and a "newfound passion".... The problem isn't my location or responsibilities...the problem is the posture of my heart.
Maybe all of this isn't making sense- I'm rambling. On an iPhone. While I'm supposed to be teaching 1st grade math...
This video was so incredibly refreshing to me today, a day that my heart-posture has been downward since my feet hit the floor.
Take a few minutes and watch this. I'm headed to my kitchen sink to do dishes while I talk about telling time with my 6 year old.....With a smile.
Glory in the Mundane
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
She knows of my struggles to find joy and fulfillment in the mundane.
I'm so guilty of feeling guilty about our ministry as a family. I often think we should and wish we could do more....more for family, more for the church, more for the lost. I'm guilt ridden that I don't have more hours in a day to be everything to everyone!
I am a passionate girl...about life and Jesus...and my kids...and my house....and loving people....And our church....and I'm SO excited about His work in my heart. I feel a fire and excitement about being missional, but I often feel my hands are "tied" at home with kids and potty training and school..... and to be vulnerable and raw with you, sometimes washing dishes doesn't seem like its anywhere near "reaching the lost and broken world".
If you peeked in my kitchen window while I'm washing dishes, a lot of days you'll find me deep in thought. What am I daydreaming out the window about? Everything ELSE I could be doing in this lost and dying world for Christ and how meaningless these dishes are. Okay, sometimes I'm thinking about paper plates and a nap....but you get the idea- what you'd see is a frown.
When people tell me "Your kids are your mission field and you are discipling them."...I want to say, "But people all over the world have done mission work all over the place and taken their kids with them- would we say they fail? No !!! So maybe I should go- and take them- and change things up."
The problem is, I probably would still feel I could be doing more. Even if I were living in a shanty in the remotest part of Africa. I would still have the fruit of God's work in me- a desire to reach the lost, but a very real struggle with discontentment and a "newfound passion".... The problem isn't my location or responsibilities...the problem is the posture of my heart.
Maybe all of this isn't making sense- I'm rambling. On an iPhone. While I'm supposed to be teaching 1st grade math...
This video was so incredibly refreshing to me today, a day that my heart-posture has been downward since my feet hit the floor.
Take a few minutes and watch this. I'm headed to my kitchen sink to do dishes while I talk about telling time with my 6 year old.....With a smile.
Glory in the Mundane
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
A Word to Christians about President Barak Obama
I fight discontentment and the "poor me" attitude most days. In fact, I think my sinful self likes to wallow in what I consider my God given "despair" or trial for the week. It's wrong and sinful to dwell on the things I see as negatives because I serve a grand and glorious God who is working all things together for the good of those who love Him. How dare us doubt Him to do exactly the perfect things in our day to accomplish His will for our life....one day, one measly little trial at a time? So then I can say...how dare us doubt His ability to raise up and tear down leaders of nations as he pleases?
Once the elections are done and we see who God has chosen for our nation, it would be wrong and sinful for us to show distrust and discontentment with who God has placed in the White House.
Even though the road ahead may appear scary and steep, to show such displeasure at every turn appears as a lack of faith on the part of the Christian. Especially to the unbelieving onlooker. It hurts our testimony and ability to share the gospel to complain about political matters all the time with no interest in sharing the news of a God who can save anyone from the worst of times or the worst of leaders.
He is SO good. He is SO powerful. He is SO wonderful. His sustaining hope for our daily disparities is so real and awesome. He cares for me. He cares for you. He cares for President Barak Obama. Enough that He would give his only son to save us from our sinful wretchedness. Enough that He'd offer eternal life in place of eternal Hell and damnation even when we don't deserve it. THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS!!! Why won't we talk about THAT?!
If our nation is headed for destruction, all the more reason to tell the Good News! Talking about destruction and the fall of a nation is not good news! Christ and His saving power for lost souls is good news. Let's work hard to weave that into political conversations.
I believe Satan loves to see discontentment with life and leaders breeding in our heart- because it damages our ability to effectively share the gospel.
I think, when political conversations arise, there is a great opportunity to talk to someone about how we believe God and His sovereign power over our lives and even the lives of leaders in our nation. It's an opportunity to talk about praying to the only One who can truly save a nation from its problems. The One who can save me from my despair. The One who can save you from your hopelessness.
To bad mouth the man God has clearly chosen to lead our nation is not doing anyone any good. It is making many Christians appear unloving, discontented and like they have no faith in our One True God and his sovereign power over our nation. Let's commit to pray for Obama and quit complaining about it. When we complain - we, in essence, are saying we don't believe God is sovereign enough or big enough to raise up and tear down kings and leaders. To the lost man, our faith becomes an accessory and appears like it has no sustaining power in our life.
I love this word about leaders and elections from a very wise and respected man.
"All of us care a great deal about our country. Now that the election is over, it is important to remember that whether we are personally pleased with the outcome or not, God wants us to pray for those chosen to be our leaders. We must also remember that no election will ever solve America's most basic problems. Only the Gospel, God's Good News, has the power to change lives, heal hearts, and restore a nation. It is my passionate, heartfelt desire to see God transform hearts and lives in every community in America, and I know you want that as well."
-Billy Graham
God commands that we pray for kings and all in authority with requests, prayers, and thanksgiving. 1 Timothy 2:1-2.
I'm reading this back now- and it might be a bit repetitive. But you get my heart. I'm typing on my iPhone with potty trainers and preschoolers and first graders pulling at my arm. Literally. It's a wonder I typed one single word correctly. Back to my motherly dooooteeees.
Choosing Joy-
Candice
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Once the elections are done and we see who God has chosen for our nation, it would be wrong and sinful for us to show distrust and discontentment with who God has placed in the White House.
Even though the road ahead may appear scary and steep, to show such displeasure at every turn appears as a lack of faith on the part of the Christian. Especially to the unbelieving onlooker. It hurts our testimony and ability to share the gospel to complain about political matters all the time with no interest in sharing the news of a God who can save anyone from the worst of times or the worst of leaders.
He is SO good. He is SO powerful. He is SO wonderful. His sustaining hope for our daily disparities is so real and awesome. He cares for me. He cares for you. He cares for President Barak Obama. Enough that He would give his only son to save us from our sinful wretchedness. Enough that He'd offer eternal life in place of eternal Hell and damnation even when we don't deserve it. THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS!!! Why won't we talk about THAT?!
If our nation is headed for destruction, all the more reason to tell the Good News! Talking about destruction and the fall of a nation is not good news! Christ and His saving power for lost souls is good news. Let's work hard to weave that into political conversations.
I believe Satan loves to see discontentment with life and leaders breeding in our heart- because it damages our ability to effectively share the gospel.
I think, when political conversations arise, there is a great opportunity to talk to someone about how we believe God and His sovereign power over our lives and even the lives of leaders in our nation. It's an opportunity to talk about praying to the only One who can truly save a nation from its problems. The One who can save me from my despair. The One who can save you from your hopelessness.
To bad mouth the man God has clearly chosen to lead our nation is not doing anyone any good. It is making many Christians appear unloving, discontented and like they have no faith in our One True God and his sovereign power over our nation. Let's commit to pray for Obama and quit complaining about it. When we complain - we, in essence, are saying we don't believe God is sovereign enough or big enough to raise up and tear down kings and leaders. To the lost man, our faith becomes an accessory and appears like it has no sustaining power in our life.
I love this word about leaders and elections from a very wise and respected man.
"All of us care a great deal about our country. Now that the election is over, it is important to remember that whether we are personally pleased with the outcome or not, God wants us to pray for those chosen to be our leaders. We must also remember that no election will ever solve America's most basic problems. Only the Gospel, God's Good News, has the power to change lives, heal hearts, and restore a nation. It is my passionate, heartfelt desire to see God transform hearts and lives in every community in America, and I know you want that as well."
-Billy Graham
God commands that we pray for kings and all in authority with requests, prayers, and thanksgiving. 1 Timothy 2:1-2.
I'm reading this back now- and it might be a bit repetitive. But you get my heart. I'm typing on my iPhone with potty trainers and preschoolers and first graders pulling at my arm. Literally. It's a wonder I typed one single word correctly. Back to my motherly dooooteeees.
Choosing Joy-
Candice
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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